Staying Offended Never Works Out

Offenses never work to our benefit.

After 30+ years of Christianity and nearly 20 years in active ministry, this has always been true. I have never, let me say it again, never known an offense to work out to anyone's benefit. Whether justified or not, if we don't forgive offenses, they work against us every time.

It used to make me mad when people stayed offended with me, but after seeing the consequences eat away at so many lives, I am usually left with a deep sadness for the offended person. Notice I make a distinction between being offended and staying offended. We all get offended. The Bible says that's normal. The problem is when we hold on to the offense.

Psalm 9: 15-16 says "The nations have sunk down in the pit which they made. In the net which they hid, their own foot is caught. The Lord is known by the judgement He executes. The wicked is snared in the work of his own hands. Meditation." - think about that!

From observation, and my own personal experience with offense, I would say that offense unforgiven lays a net that is hidden from view. Pretty soon we don't see it anymore, we forget about it, and then we find ourselves tripping in it, tangled up in it. We find ourselves dealing with upset of some kind in our lives and wonder where it's coming from, not recognizing the net we are caught in.

On the flip side, when an offense is forgiven, there is nothing left to trip us up.

It's painful to see people you care about caught in a net of offense, especially when they say they've forgiven. There is nothing I can do but pray for God to show them what's tripping them up. Unforgiven offense is the devils playground.

If you are struggling with offense, you may be kicking and screaming right now about the need for the offender to repent, to see their wrong. "What about what they did or said, or didn't do or didn't say?". If you don't forgive (true forgiveness is not dependent on what the other person does or says), you are going to cut your own foot off as it loses circulation in that net. Then I suppose it will be the "offenders" fault?

When I forgive those who have offended me, I do my part to free them from their own mess they have made. It is the most effective way of effecting change in someone - much more so than staying offended. Do people always change when I forgive them? Not always, but sometimes they do. And at least I am free from suffering in my offense.

Hebrews 11:6 was a verse ministered on Sunday morning, and it reads, in part "...God is a rewarder of those who diligently seek Him".
Psalm 9:10 sayks "And those who know Your name will put their trust in You, for You, Lord, have not forsaken those who seek You."

I want to know the reward of seeking Him, not the reward of my own offense. I put my trust in the Lord when I forgive those who have offended me, and it positions me in a place of security in Him who does not forsake me. (Psalm 27:9-10).

Are you offended? Forgive, let go, free yourself. Are you trapped in your offense? Pray to the Lord for help, forgive your offender, be restored and healed. Are you an offender? Repent, seek restoration and keep a soft heart of grace.

Life is so much sweeter without the annoying, cloying baggage of offense hanging on us.