Young Love, Simple Love - Part 2

....so the journey continues.

During high school I was exposed to prophetic ministry, and was both amazed and scared by it. Thankfully, those I met were genuine and sincere in the Lord, and I only wanted to experience more of God’s voice in my own life. When I reflect on those times of my youth, it seems truly golden, simple and good. Relationship with God was a natural outflow of love.

Labels, Performance, Failures
I’ve thought a lot about the shift I experienced after high school. …..

The pursuit of Him became [unknowingly, innocently] a pursuit of outward manifestations. Perhaps that’s a bit strong of a statement – I still was after Him – yet as I gained “knowledge” of the gifts of the Spirit, and I wanted to grown in them, I unconsciously began to inventory those things in my life. Where before it just was a part of my relationship with God, it then became something I was aware of, conscious of. With this knowledge came judgment. How was I doing? Did I measure up? Did it sound right, look right, etc. The shift was gradual. At times I was surrounded by other young people, passionate for God, reveling in discovering and moving in the gifts God had given us. Unfortunately, being my own harshest critic and judge, I continued to compare myself. Relationship was becoming performance.

How often have we seen someone gloriously come into relationship with God only to become consumed with wanting to experience His gifts. Learning about them, pursuing them, receiving prayer, sometimes tying themself up in a knot to somehow “earn” the gift or "learn" the gift. “If I just do this or that, I’ll have this gift in my life”. As humans we are very comfortable with formulas. 2+2 = 4. That never changes, it’s dependable. Wouldn’t it be great if God worked that way? If we could just jump through this hoop, say these words, in this manner, it will all “work”. Create this atmosphere, play this music, act this way….”Genuine Holy Spirit ministry” looks like ABC. Yet I can’t help but remember….

Walking in the love of heavenly Father, without reproach, free from the burden of sin and thankful for His hand in mine. Living daily in Him. My words and actions informed not by books I had read or words people spoke, but by my simple relationship with Him. He had created me and He knew how to speak my language! I understood His voice without question. I just LIVED in Him.

THAT is beautiful.

All else pales in comparison. It's hollow and exhausting and utterly disappointing otherwise.

How do we lead others into the simple love relationship? I think that is His job. We give opportunity as it comes, as we follow Him in daily life. It’s not contrived, but free. We join together and worship Him. We hear His word together, and we go on our way, living it out. Living it out in daily life. I'm not saying we forgo being intentional about sharing Jesus, but I'm saying that it needs to flow from our relationship with Him.

Can we go back? Can we rediscover such simplicity? I think we can. Maybe if we just let go of all the voices saying “do this or do that”, and simply follow Him.

I am so thankful for all the Christian Sunday School teachers, pastors, and family who have spoken the Word into my life, explained it, lived it, prayed it. For friends who have stretched me in my faith, stretched me in grace. This is not a solo journey we are on, and I continue to believe in the essential of community in this journey. That’s where I was introduced to Him and inspired to seek more of Him.

Have you had some of these struggles?
Where are you on your journey?
What questions does it bring up for you?