APPRECIATE YO MAMA!:

Last one in this series....

Growing up, dinnertime was always anticipated in our household. It was the tastiest meal of the day! As a mother, it is a meal that I enjoy providing for my family. There is something special about everyone gathered together at the table to eat and share together. I would never have considered disrespecting my mother and the effort she put into providing a delicious, warm meal for me. As a mother, it would be insulting to prepare meals for my family only to have them disregard those meals and the effort that was put into them. In our household, appreciation is shown in different ways. My family is generous to say thank you for what is served, complimenting my efforts (even when it doesn’t turn out so good- I’d mention the recently grilled corn, but that’s another story), and by helping to set and clear the table and clean the kitchen afterwards. My husband is generous to provide the finances I need to put these meals on the table, and he enjoys the result!

As a Church, “eating at the table” should be accompanied by equal respect. Have we shown our appreciation for what has been offered? Have we assisted in some way for what we are about to share in? Have we provided what was necessary to put the “meal” together? Or are we simply consumers or food critics? Do we eat and run? Do we eat and pick apart the meal?

Sometimes, it is when visitors come to eat that we are shown the most appreciation. I am always blessed when visitors in a service give an offering. They don’t have to do that, and there’s a certain graciousness to it-sort of like bringing a hostess gift when visiting someone else’s house. It shows a generosity of spirit and it’s always a thoughtful surprise. As members of the church family however, we move beyond graciousness and become intentional participants in family life. So I might ask, “What table are you sitting down to eat at?”

THEY HAVE BIG BUTTS…

Okay, the whole conversations on money were a single-session download of thoughts that I've broken down from my head to these pages. This thought had me giggling in church. Sometimes, you just go with what comes to you....

When we don’t give, we just end up with big butts! Our wallet gets fatter, and our butts (where wallets are often kept) bulge out. Who wants a fat butt? In essence, we get fat butts by hording our own seed, for our own consumption, and it only leads to poverty. When we don’t sow it, don’t spread it around, it won’t come back to us in increase.

In kindergarten we used to sing a song, “Love is Like a Magic Penny” (thanks Roxie Phillips!) - think I've shared this before, hmmm......

Love is like a magic penny, you hold it tight and you won’t have any.
Lend it, spend it and you’ll have so many, they’ll roll all over the floor.
Ooooh, love is nothing til you give it away, give it away, give it away.
Love is nothing til you give it away and you’ll end up having more.

Good, huh? Love and money, baby, love and money. Anything good worth having is worth sharing and will come back to you!

ENTITLEMENT, EXCUSES AND ECONOMICS

ENTITLEMENT, EXCUSES AND ECONOMICS
One of my first professors in University was a microeconomics professor who liked to say “There’s no such thing as a free lunch”. That has stuck with me all these years. Everything has a cost, everything. My love costs something: when I love I often say “no” to me and “yes” to others. My affections cost something: what I give to one thing I cannot give to another – my resources are finite. You get the drift. And guess what, eating costs money!

We like to eat dinner out, and my attitude towards tipping was initially developed by those I respected – I watched how they approached tipping and followed their example. Often, that example was one of tipping for excellent service. If the service was great, we tipped. If not, we tipped less, a sort of sliding scale. Tipping was a matter of personal judgment of the service received. Interestingly, while I might be inclined to tip more or less, I have never even considered walking away without paying for the meal I have eaten. The food had been purchased and prepared for me. The location of the meal had been prepared for me. Even when I have not particularly enjoyed a meal, I have always paid for it. I may never go to that restaurant again, but when I do choose to eat their food, I pay for it. Tipping then tops things off, showing my appreciation for the service rendered by the staff.

I want to suggest this scenario as a picture of our relationship to the Church, painting with broad strokes, so bear with me. When we attend a particular church, we become “patrons” of that establishment. We choose to go there and to eat off their particular menu. We avail ourselves of their services, their “spiritual food” and their hospitality. Why then do we think nothing of “skipping out on the bill”? (Here is where the broad strokes come in. We don’t “purchase” anything in the Church with our tithe– it is an analogy of spiritual life). We partake of what the Church offers, but fail to bring our tithes. Maybe we will leave an occasional “tip” of goodwill, but week in and week out we choose to come, to take part, and to not contribute to the overhead of the establishment? It takes money to keep a building open, the lights on, the place clean, staffed, atmosphere set. There’s no getting around that. We wouldn’t do that to any other establishment!

Perhaps we get around it by saying that it is a “spiritual establishment”. But it resides in the natural. Does our spiritual life not need natural sustenance?

Perhaps we get around it by saying that “such-and-such church” or “that ministry’ is more deserving of our money. Then go eat there! Where you eat, that is where you pay the bill. I don’t eat at Applebee’s and then pay the bill at Ruth’s Chris Steakhouse – I pay Applebee’s. If I am sustained and nourished in a particular house of worship, then that is where I bring my tithes.

Perhaps we get around it by saying that the money belongs to, and goes back to God, so we can give wherever we felt “led” to give. Where do we feel “led” to be connected to the Body (God)? Where do we feel “led” to come and eat? That is where our tithe should go. If we aren’t getting fed where we are, or we don’t like the food served, then by all means change where we eat, but then pay where we eat. To do otherwise lacks integrity.

Giving is not limited to one place, but for certain it is right to bring your tithes to the house that is feeding you.

To do otherwise is ungrateful, unthankful, arrogant and entitled. How do you see it?

By the way, as I’ve matured, my tipping habits have changed. I have chosen to live a generous life and enjoy blessing the hard working staff where we eat. It would have to be truly terrible service for the tip to dip. I tip generously. I try to engage with the wait staff and verbalize my appreciation, backing it up with my money at the end of the meal. Whether it is acknowledged or not, it matters to me. I am blessed to be a blessing. And as much as I like to receive good things, I want to give that to others as it is in my power to do so. What kind of patron are you?

LAMBS TAILS, CHURCH LIFE, & MONEY

Money is an uncomfortable subject for many to talk about, but honestly, it's a necessary part of our daily life, so let's talk.

Just as our physical bodies have many members, as believers we are all members of one Body, Christ’s. When we withhold from the Body, it strangulates the flow of life, potentially resulting in death to parts of the Body.

Growing up I had friends who raised sheep for showing – you know, competitive judging for best in breed, etc. One day I watched them place rubber bands tightly at the base of the each lambs tail. When I asked why, they explained that the rubber band cut off the circulation of blood to the tail and eventually the tail would fall off, which was part of the requirements for showing. Blocking the flow of blood to the tail resulted in death, severing the tail from the body.

In Biblical application, 1 Corinthians talks about how we are the Body of Christ. This truth can be applied to our lives both individually and to the church – many churches make up Christ’s body, and each part contributes to the health and vitality of the whole.

There are parts, some worthy of more honor than others (parts that are more visible, prominent), but we do not disregard any part – all parts of the Body are necessary. God does not create unnecessary parts! Some may esteem one ministry or church over another, but God says there are no unnecessary parts! Where you are positioned in a Church, you are connected to the whole Body. Just think, each part of your own body has vessels that direct the flow of blood, the flow of life, throughout your whole body (via veins, capillaries). If you choose not to allow “life” to flow through your part (such as putting a band around your arm that cuts off the flow of blood), then it will strangulate and separate that very necessary part from blessing and being a part of the Body as a whole.

What strangulates life in the church? Withholding.

· Withholding service
· Withholding money
· Withholding fellowship
· Withholding ourselves. Hearts withheld often results in withholding in other areas.

When there is freedom of flow to each part, life is imparted and shared, enabling each part to function and prosper the Body as a whole with no member lacking. Just think, the veins running through your life, the conduit of blessing through your life, feeds the health of the whole Body. We are “blessed to be a blessing”. Blessing in my life does not benefit me alone! We have the power to bless or curse, to withhold or live generously.

[Note: There are those who argue that the corporate expression of the church is not necessary, but my body is a corporate expression of many parts. What that corporate expression looks like is not what I am arguing, but that we are meant to live in connection with one another, supporting and strengthening each other as we reside in community together. I expect my personal arm to benefit my personal body, etc.].

There is no greater investment than the Kingdom of God. When we give, we give to Him, to the tangible expression of His Body in the earth, and we are supporting the life flow of His Body. Where you are positioned, that is where you are connected to the Body, and that is the point where life is going to flow. As a hand, the life doesn’t flow from my hand to the belly, but from my hand to the arm. Where are you connected to the Body? That’s where your life is going to make a primary contribution to the whole. If you are connected to the Body of Christ via a local Christian Church, then allow life to flow through you to the rest of the Body, freely and generously.

Life, Leadership & Sermon on the Mount - Pt 2

The good news is, no one was harmed in the writing of this blog. No snoring occurred, sleep was had, and all are feeling rested. Read on. :)

LEADERSHIP LESSONS FROM MATTHEW 6

1. Don’t Blow Your Own Horn (1-4). We all like to have our ego stroked, but really, how annoying – “look at me, look at me”. Let your actions speak for themselves without making a show out of them. And leaders, take note, pay attention to what your team is doing. Notice the good, celebrate the good. It can be helpful to establish regular times of recognition for outstanding work or effort. Acknowledgement goes a long way with your team.
2. Mean What You Say: Don’t just talk to be heard (5-15)
a. Talk to people in private. Make petitions in private. Both as a leader and a follower, it shows respect for the other person, considers them first.
b. Don’t be a pest with your petitions – eventually your voice is going to be drowned out by the plethora of words used (Think “the boy who cried wolf”). Followers, keep your requests simple, relevant and to the point. Leaders, let them know you’ve heard them.
c. Ask the right way:
i. Show honor and respect
ii. Let them hear/see that you are for them, not being self-motivated
iii. Be clear about what you need
iv. Reconcile any difficulties or conflicts
v. Be teachable. Ask for help in achieving your goals.
vi. Treat others the way you want to be treated and it will get noticed!

3. Whistle While You Work (16-18). Enjoy your work and work hard. The 7 dwarfs in “Snow White” had the right idea – a positive attitude creates an uplifting atmosphere, even in dark places. The book “Fish” is a great illustration of this, depicting how the fish mongers at Pike Place Market became world famous, in part because of this attitude. They chose the attitude they were going to bring to work, and then had fun while working. Attitudes are infectious – spread some joy where you work!
4. Keep Perspective (19-21). Work needs to be kept in perspective. Your greatest treasure lies in the people you have relationship with. Don’t allow work, achieving your goals, to run roughshod over your relationships. Don’t neglect your families. Stay connected with your friends. Stay in tune with how people around you are doing. Are we pushing too hard? Are they bored and need a challenge? It can be as simple as asking not only how we are doing at achieving our goals, but how are the people who are doing the work doing? People matter, and they’ll work for you or against you.
5. Keep a Clear Vision (22-23). Clean the glass on your lamp all the time, removing those things that fog up the glass. Have you ever lit a candle, and after a while the glass holder it is in begins to blacken with soot from the flame? It dims the light of the flame. We need to keep the vision burning bright, removing all that distracts from the flame of our vision.
6. Choose Whom You’ll Serve (24). There can only be one master. One boss. One vision. One goal. When our allegiances or efforts are divided, our ability to succeed are lessened. As a leader, clarify the vision, the goal, the tasks continually to keep everyone on the same page. As a follower, don’t get sidetracked. While you are on the team, eat, breathe and sleep the same vision. Rowers in a boat will get where they are going faster if everyone is pulling in the same direction, in unison. If someone is pulling against the direction you are going, they need to turn around or get out of the boat (hopefully finding a different boat to row in – no one gets anywhere fast by themselves).
7. Don’t Worry (25-24). As leaders we need to create a stable environment for people. When shaky times come, help them stay on task. Today has enough worries of its own, so keep the “what ifs” at bay and focus on today. Hey, that rhymes! Also, leaders need to plan for eventualities and be prepared for unexpected turn of events, to handle them with calm. Nothing shakes people up more than to see their leader get frazzled or blow their stack.

Leadership, Life & the Sermon on the Mount-Part 1

I want you to know that at 2 AM I am deeply skilled at Spider Solitaire. I’m just saying.It’s in the crucible of marriage that my skills deepen – I’ve been driven from my bed by the melodic, light snoring of my beloved. Normally, this doesn’t keep me awake, but since my attitude began to slide towards decidedly uncharitable ends, I decided to get up and write what I was dreaming about. See, I went to bed early, driven by my need for quiet (noise was getting under my skin, a pattern?), and I decided to read my Bible first. I consider the following thoughts to be a gift from God for choosing an edifying endeavor over yelling at my family to be quiet (My tongue is in my cheek). :)

I was reading the Sermon on the Mount and “flashed” on how applicable it was to leadership. [Note: I once read the Sermon on the Mount and “flashed” on how it could be read through the sieve of 1 Corinthians 13 at almost every point – that was profound for me, such a practical lesson on what love looks like day to day. But I digress.] I love how Jesus’ words are so completely applicable to our everyday living, and to be challenged by them in the context of leadership is awesome, so here goes, my thoughts on leadership and the Sermon on the Mount. I’ll probably write this in parts, beginning in Matthew, chapter 5. Verses will be noted in parentheses. I’d love your thoughts on the various applications of these verses, so please feel free to share!

LEADERSHIP LESSONS FROM MATTHEW 5

1. Lead By Example (15-16). “Nor do they light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on a lampstand and it gives light to all who are in the house. Let your light so shine before men that they may see your good works and glorify your Father in heaven”. The light in you, the gospel of Jesus, is something that is meant for others. It’s meant to be seen, visible in you. So, "who is in your house”? Who is in your everyday life that needs the light?Your life is meant to be an influence to others, to be a living example of Jesus, a light lifted up for all to see. The light becomes VISIBLE through your good works, because that is what people can SEE. Just do it for Him, give Him the glory as His light shines through you. It’s all Him, baby.
2. Integrity Matters, Practice What You Preach. (19-20). There are two kinds of people here: Both are teaching and leading others, but one breaks the law, the other obeys the law. If we are going to be a light to others, we need to be living in that light ourselves. We can’t point others towards something that is not applied in our own lives – what hypocrisy. Leaders gotta walk the walk. Let your life be a living example.
3. Leave No Man Behind: Reconcile offenses whenever possible (21-26). In the course of our day we are going to have times when life gets ugly, hurtful, confusing, etc. Offenses happen. When we recognize that somehow we have offended someone, don’t leave them hanging – as a leader, go after them! Jesus said that if He had 100 sheep and one was lost, He’d go after it. Don’t leave a team member swinging in the wind, cut them down! It requires humility in a leader, but you can do it! Reconcile quickly: Don’t ignore problems or gloss over them – they’ll bite you later!
4. Get Rid of Bad Apples – they’ll spoil they whole bushel (27-30).Sometimes we have a team member who is hurting the team and efforts to reconcile them have proven fruitless [pun intended]. Their bad attitude or negative actions are going to begin to rub off on others. Sometimes we have to cut off the offending member. I know this can be painful for all involved, but it’s necessary. We are charged with bearing good fruit that remains. If we allow the bad to spoil the good, the harvest may be unnecessarily lost. Really, it’s negligent to allow this to happen. Try to save and restore, but when that fails, cut off the spoiled fruit.
5. Infidelity Breaks Relationships (31-32). Lack of faithfulness, broken promises…infidelity is a tearing of trust in a relationship. On our teams we need to trust each other to fulfill our roles, accomplish our tasks, support and help one another. Be faithful in your dealings as a leader, or your team members will go elsewhere. You’ve worked hard to build relationships on your team, and your follow-through will help retain your members. Build trust by fulfilling your role faithfully.
6. Leaders Keep Their Word – Integrity (33-37). “Let your yes be yes and your no, no”. Our church is familiar with this story. When our middle child, Nathan, was about 9 years old, we found ourselves in the van after a Sunday meeting, heading to lunch. We had promised the children we’d go to McDonalds for lunch, but when the time came, my husband and I would rather have gone to In-n-Out Burger. We told the children of the change in plans and it got quiet in the car. Then, from the back seat came a quiet, and respectful, voice. “Dad, let your yes be yes and your no, no”. Gulp! We immediately turned around and went to McDonalds for our special combo meal of crow and humble pie. Your team is going to remember what you have promised, so follow through!

That completes thoughts for chapter 5. What has been your experience in these areas?

Tough Decisions, Peace, & Alligators

Ever wrestle alligators? That's what a friend calls having a hard day dealing with issues, dealing with people. Ever tried it? It's exhausting! No, I haven't wrestled real alligators, but you get my drift. Sometimes the battles we are in seems endless. There are opposing and contradicting forces pulling one way and another, we aren't sure from one day to the next how things are going to end. But then....

When we are torn between two opinions, pulled in different directions, and we have a decision to make, how do we know when we make the right one? Peace. A supernatural peace that goes beyond our own understanding. I've recently spent months and months wrestling alligators in my own life. Then I made a decision, and with that decision, peace flooded my soul. That is nothing less than God.

John 14:27 (NLT) "I am leaving you with a gift—peace of mind and heart. And the peace I give isn't like the peace the world gives. So don't be troubled or afraid."

See, the difficulty is that I want to make decisions that God would make - and that isn't always recognizable to me. Sometimes it goes against what I want, what seems logical, etc. But when I make a decision that lines up with His will, His peace comes. A relief from struggle and burden.
Was I sure the decision was the right one? I thought so, but was still wrestling....until I made my decision firm in my heart, and the peace came.

Without the peace, I'd still be wrestling.
So, if you have decisions to make, if you are feeling pulled betwixt and between, choose which way you will go. If peace is not your companion, go back to God because you're not done yet.

And by the way, having His peace doesn't mean I understand it all, doesn't mean I have all the answers, except for one: I'm right where I need to be with God. Beautiful.

Got peace?

How do you handle making tough decisions? Does peace play a factor in the decision-making process, and what is that like?