Getting Started

A first time blogger, it's a bit daunting to think of posting one's thoughts out there for the world to see. Is there a benefit to baring the push and pull of your thoughts, the journey of your faith, the reality of your humanity? As one prone to a melancholic bent, I can only imagine the directions I could go in at times- at times creative, sometimes doubting, occassionally powered up, and yes, ridiculoously introspective. I would hope that through it all, my desire for growth in believing, in faith, would be evident for others to see, and perhaps it would challenge as well.

We just finished our annual ministers conference and I am once again amazed at the men and women who pastor small churches in this country. There are those who believe that small churches make no impact, that they are irrelevant or lame. Yet, as I look at them, I see great courage to believe God, that He is able to use anyone, at any time. I see faithfulness that would challenge anyone. How hard is it to stay the course when you have "success" at your door? I read of a successful pastor of a mega-church, he was a young man, praised for what was happening in his ministry. It was awesome to read about what he was able to accomplish through the vehicle of ready resources at his fingertips. Yet, I couldn't help but wonder what success is there in inheriting everything that is called your "success"? When I consider the price that many pastors I know pay on a daily basis - in their wallets, confidence, energy, faith - it was hard to be truly impressed the story.

We have lived in San Diego for 9 years now, and in that time we have seen pastors come from around the world to start churches in our beautiful city. Some have come with extended resources: staff and money, that make small church pastors envious (yes, we struggle with it like you do). Some of them believe they have what it takes to crack San Diego open, (that they have the 'formula' for success). Yet most of them have not lasted. Some have redefined themeselves and their purpose. For some, it was simply too hard. Discouraging to work so hard, to plow through your resources with little to show for it. There's also a lot of comparison we suffer - how does our "success" measure up to someone elses - and we believe that it somehow must not be God, that His blessing is not on it, or whatever. And then there are the small church pastors who are still here, still planting, watering, weeding, tending, believing. I honor them.

I'm not kidding myself. I want to see a profit from my efforts as a pastor. I want "success". I would love to have abundant resources. I struggle with comparison as much as anybody. But I am also impressed with the faithful men and women who just won't give up.

A woman shared a testimony this week from her own life. There was a point in her life when she struggled with sin, couldn't shake it, was drawn to it like a magnet. She kept returning to it, knowing it was the wrong choice, but unable to stop. One day, on her way to sin, she heard the Lord say to her heart that He did not condemn her. She continued to sin, but also continued to hear this message reverberate in her heart. She experienced well-intentioned believers try to talk her out of her sin, pointing it out, challenging her, judging her at times. Yet it was the sovereign work of God in her heart, expressing His unconditional love and acceptance for her, that eventually did it's work in her life. She no longer is a slave to the sin, she is free. What amazes me about this (there are many things, actually), is that she did not give up on God, the church, or Christians. She is still, all these years later, loving God and His Body. THAT is a miracle. She didn't give up. THAT impresses me.

So, to all those in small churches, no matter your role, believe God and don't give up so easily. Continue in what God has called you to do and resist the trap of comparison. Do your best to learn, grow, improve, "succeed", but keep it in perspective. Give your all, give your best, keep believing. And don't forget to love on people while you're at it. Encourage their efforts, their success and their faith.